marriage

marriage
1. (marriage) (5181↑, 405↓)
the number one cause of divorce
2. (marriage) (2250↑, 441↓)
What straight couples have legally and commonly don't want, and what gay couples don't have legally and commonly want.

Irony in the first degree.

Author: raspberry (lust) muffin http://marriage.urbanup.com/1284181
3. (marriage) (1778↑, 555↓)
a licence to fuck

conservatives are big on protecting the sacred bond of marriage.

4. (marriage) (1284↑, 447↓)
the beginning of the end.

Oh boy, hes getting married, our thoughts and prayers go out to him.

Author: stephen mathews http://marriage.urbanup.com/723995
5. (marriage) (1345↑, 589↓)
1.) Point at which a male's opinions become utterly worthless. 2.) Point at which a male must spend weekends at the Mall 3.) Point at which a male must buy hundreds of shoes from italy 4.) Point at which a female stops working due to getting knocked up, thus forcing male further into the pits of hell

"I can't dude, I'm married"

6. (marriage) (879↑, 371↓)
Suicide in it's worst form.

Jerry: Dude, Ben committed marriage yesterday. Joe: Holy shit dude. Well, so much for hanging out with ben.

7. (marriage) (813↑, 370↓)
A special right that's generally reserved for heterosexuals.

Britnery Spears was allowed to enter the holy state of marriage for an entire 55 hours because she's heterosexual and thus brings honor to the sacred tradition.

8. (marriage) (390↑, 62↓)
The number one cause of divorce. The end of dating. The end of your sex life. Something I will never experience because, women for some reason, do not like me and I have become totally invisible to the opposite sex. It has three phases: lust (when you are newlyweds) rust and dust. Which phase is your marriage in? Marriage is taken way too lightly in our society. Most people don’t realize that marriage is the hardest commitment for anyone to make. People often treat marriage as a convenience rather than a covenant, thinking how they can benefit from marriage rather than how to meet the needs of your spouse. Anyone with half a brain and $50 for a license can get married but it takes real commitment to make it work. The problem with successful marriage today is: 1.PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS OF WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE MIXED WITH POOR PREPARATION/PLANNING: It amazes than any state will make you study for a time to get a drivers license but will instantly grant a marriage license for $50 and a blood test to any nieve couple stupid enough to marry, having the ability to ruin lives of future children and themselves if it goes wrong. The couple thinks all will be happily ever after and they will have a perfect family and live in the burbs with white, picket fences. They are willing to say their “I do’s” at the altar without knowing what to do when the honeymoon is over and adversity and trials begin. You marry a sweet girl or nice guy at the altar and then, when they honeymoon is over and you return home, the person’s real colors come out. Most couples don’t discuss their goals for the marriage or even WHY they are getting married. They don’t discuss issues of how they will raise their children, where they will live, how to budget their income, etc. Failed marriages are often the result of poor planning because the couple has not yet discovered, until it is too late, that they are not compatible for marrying each other. 2. LACK OF COMMUNICATION. It amazes me that we have invented technology for men on earth to talk to men on the moon but cant figure out how a couple can communicate at the dinner table. A bride-to-be doesn’t discuss with her husband-to-be (or vice versa) what their needs are, what irritates her, what her sexual needs are, how they feel, how they relate to each other, their weaknesses, strengths, etc. They feel as though their emotional nudity will result in rejection. But communication is mandatory if you want to get to know the person with whom will spend the rest of your life. FALLING IN LOVE IS NOT A REASON TO GET MARRIED. Any hormone-driven Harry can fall for anything in a skirt with lipstick and highheels. You can’t live on love because what are you going to do when you don’t feel as though you are in love with your spouse at any time? There has to be more than love to proceed to marriage—a plan needs to be created. You need to determine what you want to accomplish in your future marriage and not just jump into it because you have the urge to merge. Ask yourself, “why am I wanting to marry this person?” As I said, there MUST be a goal or it WILL fail. Marriage today has become a failed institution because our society has failed to “learn how to be married.” People take it too light and treat it as a convenience rather than a spiritual covenant. Marriage is in awesome institution when it works but can be devastating to lives when it doesn’t. YOU MUST KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GETTING INTO AND WITH WHOM BEFORE WALKING DOWN THE ISLE WITH YOUR CINDERELLA/PRINCE CHARMING.

Marriage is not to be taken lightly. You must know what you are getting into and with whom before walking down the isle with your Cinderella/Prince Charming.

9. (marriage) (442↑, 122↓)
The triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Please don't ask me about my marriage.

10. (marriage) (418↑, 153↓)
A sure way to kill 95% of a woman's sex drive.

Justine and I usta make like rabbits all the time. Now after marrying her I'm lucky to get laid one or two times a week.

11. (MARRIAGE) (311↑, 87↓)
1)The root cause of divorce. 2)The most successful wealth transfer scheme ever invented. 3)A contract-that if presented to you by an agent/lawyer-would be sufficient grounds for a legal malpractice suit. 4)One sure way that the state can stay involved in your life.FOREVER. 5)The point at which regular good sex stops...and infrequent sex for procreation,manipulation,and/or passive-aggressive destruction begins. 6)An institution that should be scrapped in favor of 1-3-5 year contracts...Not that you'll be any happier.

Marriage is wonderful.I can see why gay couples want to share in the experience.

12. (marriage) (309↑, 118↓)
In the USA: Legalized slavery for men. Legalized "you can do no wrong" for women.

Marriage gave her all of the power and me all of the responsibility. If I spoke out against this, I was a rapist or a murderer. I guess I am forced to stay married or go to jail and lose my house and kids.

13. (marriage) (233↑, 47↓)
A matrimonial state as defined by: 1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together." 2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex\!"

See marriage definition above.

14. (marriage) (264↑, 129↓)
a legal agreement that allows a woman to kill a man by torturing.

i am not experienced but my parents are

15. (marriage) (212↑, 78↓)
Marriage is that wonderful time in the lives of two people where they demonstrate their love and devotion to each other. After the ceremony, the new couple will go somewhere nice to bang. Then it all goes to Jahannam. First wifey will quit work to watch Lifetime (one of many Feminazi channels). Then she will slip up and spill the truth about why she was a virgin going to the honeymoon destination and wasn't when they first fucked. Then it will come to light that she was under a mountain of debt from Payday loan(sharks) and keep bitching until he gets a second, or third, job. Then he'll have to get out some payday loans to pay her payday loans or even less sex for him. Then, while he's working all the time, she'll be banging the mailman, her boyfriend, the cable guy, the internet guy, and any other guy but her hubby. This hell goes on for about two years. Then comes the blissful stage known as [divorce]. This is the time the truth comes out (the shit hit the fan when they left for their honeymoon) and she bitches about how she "had" to fuck everyone but her dearest husband since he abused and neglected her, working when he should have been home. After that torment, comes the [alimony] stage. So in the end, he's got 25% of his paycheck, none of the account (she got to it first), and just enough for a shack downtown and a tranny hooker (all the real girls were her best friends and probably coworkers). Meanwhile lil' wifey will have two new husbands and countless fuck buddies. Have fun.

In short, marriage is the worst ass fucking possible. Usually. (p.s. This actually happened to my dad)

16. (marriage) (248↑, 150↓)
Outdated practice of permanently locking together two people, based on the outdated concept of religion

"A Marriage is a lot like a coffin.. And each kid is an extra nail" -Homer Simpson

17. (Marriage) (118↑, 43↓)
To most people, it begins with a grand confetti-filled ceremony, but sadly, usually ends in divorce and the like. So, taking contemporary relevance into consideration, Perhaps the most accurate definition of 'marriage' is: "I know im crazy in love with you right now, but when these high emotions leave and it's just you and me left, I promise that I'm going to stay with you, belong to you, protect you and love you... I wont leave you or break this promise (even if you do bore me sometimes down the track)."

"If we're going to consider marriage, we'll have be prepared to make the commitment... forever."

18. (Marriage) (113↑, 45↓)
The sacred and legally binding prelude to divorce.

The marriage of Carmen Electra to Dennis Rodman, the marriage of Tom Cruise to Nicole Kidman, the Marriage of Brad Pitt to Jennifer Aniston etc, etc, etc,

19. (marriage) (141↑, 79↓)
One's (specifically my) opportunity to finally come together with the girl he loves, and spend the rest of his life with her. Protect her, love her, raise a family with her, and generally enjoy each other until the day they die.

"I love Kara more than anyone on the face of this Earth. I yearn to marry her. Our marriage will be magical" -Matt

20. (marriage) (191↑, 140↓)
Prison...slavery...my life...

self exp

21. (marriage) (81↑, 31↓)
What you should do when you are over 60. This makes sure that you wont get on each others nerves for very long.

Dorothy and Jon had a short marriage he died at 73. She barely got to know him.

22. (marriage) (63↑, 24↓)
For many, the phase of a relationship in which delight turns to disappointment and romance turns to resentment. Then she turns to her girlfriends and he turns to drink. Presently they turn on each other. He turns to a mistress, she to a divorce lawyer. Their home turns into hers but their mortgage turns into his. The sons turn into junkies, the daughters into teenage moms. And that's the bright side, because in many cases that's as close to a turn-on as marriage gets. Unless you're very, very, VERRRRY careful, and willing to wait and wait and WAAAAIIIIIIT for a truly exceptional person to enter your life, AND for real love between you to grow. A marriage founded on that rock-solid basis still has only a 50/50 chance of success (i.e. boredom) or failure (i.e. the tragedy described above), because marriage often changes people, leaving you shackled to a stranger. Yet that's as good as life's going to get, kid. Suddenly the Navy doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Marriage should only be attempted by those blessed with incredible luck.

Author: Stranded in Paradise http://marriage.urbanup.com/2838857
23. (marriage) (67↑, 29↓)
a union between a man and woman for the purposes of being lifelong partners, friends, and lovers. It is a beautiful thing when used with discretion. A marriage is so much more than just a wedding. Of course anyone would want to have a grand reception and go on a honeymoon, but a marriage is an eternal willing choice.

Their marriage has remained the most loving, romantic union that I have ever seen.

24. (marriage) (62↑, 31↓)
the first and foremost reason for justifiable homicide

Marriage is the only [contract] that can't be re-negotiated; luckily, it provides a potentially satisfying escape clause (otherwise known as a termination).

Author: The Justice League http://marriage.urbanup.com/2268453
25. (Marriage) (37↑, 12↓)
A (legal) pact between two people (usually attracted to each other) to stay together forever in a working, two-way relationship.

A marriage falls apart if it is only one party that is willing to communicate and cooperate.

26. (marriage) (90↑, 70↓)
1) Something that can be both heaven and hell. 2) The end of hourly or daily sex. 3) Most extreme form of torture to a guy who constantly gets laid. 4) The end of life and fun.

1) Husband, "Honey, can we have sex". Wife, "Should have thought of that before we got married, No". 2) I gave up my days of having a new woman every day for the never ending hell of having the same one forever. 3) Kids, just say no to marriage.

27. (Marriage) (35↑, 19↓)
The removal of a guy from his male peers that follows with the "taming" event that turns him into a "man". This taming event does not turn the guy into a man, it turns him into a slave. This tamed guy will now spend more time with his wife than his friends (understandable and acceptable). The problem is when he brings her to everything and every thing he plans is a couples type of thing. As a slave he will no longer act in the manner he used to and will often try to make his friends as miserable as him. He will waste away his time and resources doing everything his wife demands of him and it will never be enough. He will never be adequately rewarded. The weight of the shackles of slavery increase with every kid they have.

My best friend got married. He changed into a bitch personality that matched his wife. He stopped hanging out with the guys and wanted me to go to Home Depot and Target with him and the wife. When the guys do something that interests him he has to bring the wife. The bastard would have brought his damn wife to his bachelor party if he could have. He started acting like he was part of a cliche and alienated some of his best friends. As the "best man" during the marriage ritual I said the longest lie in my entire life and coated with so many nice things that every one thought it was amazing. If I had been a real best man, I would have been able to stop my friend from getting married. I miss the guy my buddy used to be and I miss the good times with him and the rest of the guys. Every drink I take from the wedding gift mug you gave me goes out to you buddy. =(

Author: The Worst Best Friend http://marriage.urbanup.com/4043032
28. (marriage) (56↑, 41↓)
the best prison ever invented by female subjects for total control over the male population

blah blah, theysayineedanexample(marriage)

29. (marriage) (36↑, 22↓)
Find a woman you really dislike, then buy her a house.

Marriage - a relationship between married people or the period for which it lasts.

30. (Marriage) (26↑, 12↓)
A legal union between two people that should not be committed until either person is, at least, in their 30's. Because, let's face it, nobody knows what the hell they want before then.

Sweetie, are you sure you don't want to wait a few more years for marriage? You are only 27 and that guy is a total asshole\!

Author: Wynona'sbigbrownbeaver http://marriage.urbanup.com/3884422
31. (marriage) (26↑, 12↓)
the last legal form of slavery

we are [slaves] in [marriage]

32. (Marriage) (25↑, 13↓)
Marriage isn't a word. It's a sentence.

Marriage is part of the penal code. It's a sacrifice, which is why in the past it used to be done at an altar.

33. (Marriage) (15↑, 5↓)
The point at which the friendship with your sweetheart ends and becomes a business relationship. The point at which you stop having fun and take on responsibility for yourself and your new wife. The end of your life as you once knew it.

Marriage is a lot like playing cards. You start out giving a heart and a diamond, and end up wishing for a club and a spade.

34. (marriage) (61↑, 51↓)
Only one goal of a love which destroys love forever.

I'm about to find the goal and about to destroy it.

35. (Marriage) (17↑, 9↓)
The process in which the evil robot race known as "women" enslave men for eternity. This process includes many practices like exchanging two silver bands and placing them upon each others fingers, exchanging something called "vows" declaring the loyalty to the other party. This process can also be called "moving to Albuquerque" or "putting on the ball and chain" after this process is complete the woman begins to slowly suck the life out of the man over the years till nothing remains but an obedient shell of what used to be a good friend of yours.

"did you hear? Dave got married\!" "dude, marriage sucks"

Author: ReptarKingOfTheOzone http://marriage.urbanup.com/4046725
36. (Marriage) (12↑, 5↓)
The time when a pair leaves the home. Of course I am referring to the testicles leaving the man as he loses all masculinity and lives out the worst part of his life as his wifes bitch.

Friend: You wanna go to the game tomorrow? Married man: hold on let me check with the wife, I think she wanted to go to pottery barn tomorrow. Friend:... Marriage sucks

37. (marriage) (27↑, 20↓)
A failing institution people believe will seal their love for each other, or help cut their taxes.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes debt, arguing, divorce.

Author: definingmyworld http://marriage.urbanup.com/3356052
38. (marriage) (20↑, 13↓)
A religious civil union of two persons; A legal union for the protection of children In most European countries, no religious ceremony is recognized by the state. (True separation of church and state.) Therefore, all church weddings occur only after a state ceremony. In the Netherlands, even gays may marry by the state even though the church doesn't recognize it.

After a couple's marriage, all children born are considered to have automatic declaration of paternity.

Author: anne treasure, St. Croix, VI http://marriage.urbanup.com/2581859
39. (Marriage) (15↑, 9↓)
A sacred union between two people who love one another. Can be between a man and a woman, a man and a man, or a woman and a woman (or should be and is in some states).

Marriage.

40. (Marriage) (9↑, 3↓)
A point when you credit cards are maxed and you don't have sex

Wow this marriage sucks\!

41. (marriage) (12↑, 6↓)
"creating perpetual debt all in the name of ancient tradition and a bogus unrealistic institution"

Spending tons of money on a marriage party

42. (Marriage) (14↑, 8↓)
A date that got out of hands.

Our marriage killed all the passion.

Author: El Burlador de Sevilla http://marriage.urbanup.com/4128971
43. (Marriage) (9↑, 4↓)
1. A government [contract], currently between a man and a woman, which creates a legal entity with legal rights bestowed upon it, as well as a government recognized [tax] status. 2. A contract that cannot be entered into legally without a government authorized [license] - See also Driver, Dog, Business, Liquor, Concealed Weapon, To Kill, etc. 3. A recognized legal status that may help a person become a citizen, assuming they can correctly tell an agent of the government what their wife wears to bed and if she hogs the covers or not. 4. The leading cause of [divorce]. (a precursor to divorce)(the first step to acquiring a divorce) 5. The result of Marrying. 6. Something begun with a [license] and a [ceremony], and generally disolved with [lawyers] and [judge], or by [death]. 7. A romantic notion of never-ending love. See also [Fairy Tale] 8. A ceremony that will have every detail planned, and way too much money spent, that will then transition into a possibly lifelong period that is given less advanced thought and/or financial planning.

Their marriage was begun in a church and ended in a court. Their marriage ensured that they would be taxed at a lower rate than being single, but not as low as an LLC, LP, or Corp, which, unlike marriage, can only be entered into for legitimate purposes. Their marriage was in question with the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Services, as he didn't seem to be the type of person an American girl would want to marry.

44. (Marriage) (30↑, 25↓)
intended to depict the relationship between Christ and the church. A love shown through caring about and serving each other even when one party (or both) does not deserve it.

Marriage should be as it is written: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5: 25-33

45. (Marriage) (6↑, 2↓)
An affliction of the body and mind. Effects include isolation, desperation, sexual frustration, alcohol consumption, inability to communicate, and in extreme cases, physical violence or childbirth. Due to advances in modern medicine, many cases of marriage do not end in death.

The fact that you asked for an example is ample evidence that you've never experienced marriage.

Author: Blackwolf Morrow http://marriage.urbanup.com/5595975
46. (marriage) (6↑, 3↓)
much less sex to the woman the man loves. the woman chops her beautiful long hair.

"even though we have a new marriage, does not give you the selection to slice your hair off.

47. (Marriage) (5↑, 2↓)
A binding contract between a man and a woman to remain faithful to each other until death,usually taken in front of family,friends,etc but is still binding in front of a judge or pastor. To have a succesful marriage,take "divorce " out of you vocabulary.

When jenny and sebastian got married they eant "this marriage will last until we die"

48. (Marriage) (25↑, 22↓)
The last legal form of slavery.....

Marriage.....just say no.

49. (marriage) (10↑, 8↓)
1. A bond shared by a man and a woman, 2 men, or 2 women. 2. A ceremony celebrated by many religions as a holy covenant.

1. Hey me and girlfriend are going to enter the bonds of [marriage] soon. 2. A Wiccan [marriage] is known as a handfasting.

50. (Marriage) (1↑, 0↓)
A God-ordained union between a man and a woman.

Marriage--And a woman shall leave her mother and father and cleave herself to her husband.

51. (marriage) (8↑, 7↓)
when one destroys their life by choice

marriage is for morons

Author: 542346546434534 http://marriage.urbanup.com/5225517
52. (marriage) (30↑, 29↓)
a bond between two people in love

Dillon and Nichole are in love so they arranged a marriage.

Author: nicholeispretty http://marriage.urbanup.com/2476870
53. (Marriage) (0↑, 0↓)
usually refers to when you sign a contract with a phone company in order to buy an iPhone, etc for way less. It means you have to stay with them for three years or pay loads of money to buy out. You can only upgrade after 20 months into your contract or just buy a new phone at full price. It's like a marriage because your stuck with them if you don't want to cough up a big sum to get out of it.

guy: "My marriage to Verizon is finally over\!"

Author: MarriageContract http://marriage.urbanup.com/6082462
54. (Marriage) (3↑, 3↓)
In other words, legalized fucking.

You can't have sex until marriage\! God has the right to dictate when, how, and whom you fuck with\!

55. (Marriage) (6↑, 6↓)
The death of all joy. An expensive hobby. Marriage has been known to be the bringer of reality, crushing dreams, and ending your belief in such things as fairy tales and love. Ahould not be taken lighlty. But sometimes, too often, is just a joke. Not a true commitment, but just another word. Enter with care, if you dare do so at all.

"Hes leaving, and all my dreams are crushed into pieces, like my heart, on the floor...I suppose theres no such thing as 'Happily every after'...i feel so stupid" "Oh, girl you sound so cynical\!...Let me guess? Your marriage ended ALREADY?"

56. (marriage) (11↑, 11↓)
1. A way for a woman of the adult age to escape the clutches of her overbearing and/or nosey family 2. A convenient way for an adult woman to change her identity by means of a new last name

“My mother is always getting into my business; I’m really beginning to consider marriage.” Teacher: Miss Long-Name-I-Can’t-Pronounce… Student: I’m thinking the ideal marriage would be with someone whose last name is Smith

57. (marriage) (59↑, 59↓)
See definition for FAILURE

Use your imagination it's marriage.

58. (Marriage) (2↑, 3↓)
a trap created by women that can lasts for life.

Ah man I fell into marriage with this one chick and now shes holding out her hand for all my hard work money each week.

59. (marriage) (0↑, 1↓)
verb. The act of marriage (as in on a daily basis). Contextual, only usuable in the context of spouses, never with parents, childrlen, siblings, or animals (at least in most states, need to follow up on Texas).

I marriage you. I can't tonight, I'm marriaging. How did I marriage her today?

60. (marriage) (39↑, 40↓)
a union of 2 persons to the exclusion of all others..

dude, that dude is getting married with another dude\!

61. (marriage) (54↑, 55↓)
MEANINGLESS; if people believed in the unification of two people, then there would not be a concept practiced known as DIVORECE.

1. Marriage is a poor attempt to be socially acceptable by the high-class. 2. Benefits=the only good thing you get out of marriage.

62. (Marriage) (12↑, 14↓)
The official permission to have sex.

- U know, I'm 18+, but my parents still don't let me to have sex comfortably, this is sick. - Don't worry babe, they just need the City Hall's permission. - Yeah, maybe marriage is the best thing 4 me.

Author: Ena Sasha Regina http://marriage.urbanup.com/3693991
63. (marriage) (68↑, 70↓)
is the death of sex.

"Marriage is not the death of love; it is the death of sex." - W Allen

64. (Marriage) (0↑, 3↓)
Game over.

My uncle Joseph got married yesterday. Instead of having his usual fun time down at the club, he had to spend time with his wife. Little did he know that this was going to last forever. This would eventually turn into a horror story, he had kids that he had to take care of. They hated him, he hated them, the wife hated them, they just couldn't figure out what to do. Finally, she had enough and decided to divorce him. This was the end of his life because she took everything he had because he didn't have a prenuptial agreement and he lost everything to her, and he had to keep the kids. He eventually killed himself in an alleyway because he had no home and society called him a failure when they took away his kids because he simply could not raise them with his very low income. The moral of the story? Marriage is outdated and family should be outlawed.

65. (marriage) (102↑, 105↓)
A union of two lovers.

Those two guys love each other. Hopefully Bush won't try to ban their marriage.

Author: MiamiFinFan4Life http://marriage.urbanup.com/738689
66. (Marriage) (3↑, 7↓)
A form of legalized rape.

Dick performed marriage on Jane.

67. (marriage) (68↑, 72↓)
A big fucking joke. Also see [love], which also is a big fucking joke.

After six months the two Hollywood sars ended their marriage.

Author: Hopeless Romantic http://marriage.urbanup.com/653402
68. (Marriage) (21↑, 26↓)
The unfortunate act when a man marries a woman and she takes control of his life; taking his money, breaking his spirit and watching him beg for some change at her feet.

Man: With this ring I thee wed Woman: With this ring I thee OWN Thus concludes the marriage and the man can only run to the end of his leash and bark

69. (marriage) (58↑, 64↓)
The unfortunate act of when a woman owns a man and takes over all of his shit, including his house, cars, money and independence.

(original deleted definition of marriage)

Author: make up your own definitions you witless bitch http://marriage.urbanup.com/1471380
70. (marriage) (6↑, 13↓)
The most expensive way in order to get a woman for free everyday.

Marriage blewed my credit card again \!\!\!

71. (Marriage) (8↑, 16↓)
just like drugs don't do it

Jon: His life is screwed. Steven: Why? Jon: He got married Steven: Man, Marriage sucks.

Author: \#1 jason marz fan http://marriage.urbanup.com/3895258
72. (marriage) (36↑, 44↓)
Social event whereby the male (having proposed an engagement to the female) places a ceremonial ring on the female's finger, showing his "claim" to her. He does this usually in the (misinformed) interest of having sex on a more regular basis.

Well, when we're married we'll do it more often...right?"

73. (marriage) (34↑, 43↓)
synonym: becoming Celibate

Have you read about that "celibacy by choice" fad that is going around? Yes, now that I'm married, my wife is choosing it for me.

74. (marriage) (43↑, 52↓)
The end of sexual contact in a given relationship.

Self explanatory.

Author: strongbadowns http://marriage.urbanup.com/85909
75. (marriage) (15↑, 25↓)
The last legal form of slavery.

Wife: Honey, can you go pick up the kids from school? I'm exhausted from buying groceries today. Husband: FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU AND THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE THING.

76. (marriage) (48↑, 58↓)
when a man decides its time to be your 2nd father

"where have you been until midnight"

77. (marriage) (23↑, 34↓)
a unification between two people who love eachother deeply

"samantha and henry loved eachother, so they got married." "tanya asked for her beloved susanne's hand in marriage."

78. (Marriage) (45↑, 56↓)
n. The Act of Holy Matrimony. According to many religious groups, always reserved for heterosexual couples. The Act of Marriage, contrary to popular religious opinion, is really the holy joining of two individuals bonded by true love and affection for each other. This is a bond avalible to all, regardless of the gender of either party involved, however, it is reserved only for those who truly care for each other and are ready for the commitment.

George - "Peter, I love you so much\! Let's get married\!" Peter - "I love you as well. But let's only get married when we are sure we're ready to make the commitment to each other."

Author: The Light of Reason http://marriage.urbanup.com/1073640
79. (marriage) (57↑, 68↓)
a religious ceremony binding the lives of a man and a woman in love together for the remaining duration of their lives; modern [stipulation] states that gays/lesbians should be able to marry, however the [controversy] is law redefining a religious practice

... to join this man and this woman together in holy matrimony.

80. (marriage) (22↑, 34↓)
a union that more and more minors are starting to form, mostly caused by unwanted oopsie-babies. thus causing divorcing earlier in life.

young 13-year-old: Mom, Dad, jason has proposed. isn't it wonderful? Mom, Dad: yes honey\! whens the marriage? young 13-year-old: and we found out last week that im pregnant\! now i get a happyf amily\!

81. (marriage) (59↑, 71↓)
A monogamous bond between a man and a woman recognized by God.

Henry and Sarah have decided to get married, and only make love to each other for the rest of their lives.

82. (marriage) (20↑, 36↓)
–noun 1. the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc. 2. the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage. 3. the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage. 4. a relationship in which two people have pledged themselves to each other in the manner of a husband and wife, without legal sanction: trial marriage; homosexual marriage. 5. any close or intimate association or union: the marriage of words and music in a hit song. 6. a formal agreement between two companies or enterprises to combine operations, resources, etc., for mutual benefit; merger. 7. a blending or matching of different elements or components: The new lipstick is a beautiful marriage of fragrance and texture. 8. Cards. a meld of the king and queen of a suit, as in pinochle. Compare royal marriage. 9. a piece of antique furniture assembled from components of two or more authentic pieces. 10. Obsolete. the formal declaration or contract by which act a man and a woman join in wedlock. thats how dictionary.com defines it. now i may have miss read how this is worded but it seems to me that under deffinition 5 that gay marriage should be allowed. i mean it is marriage by deffinition. and same with deffinition 4, hell it even says homosexual marriage. and number 2 says nothing about sex. and note there is a difference between gender and sex. with gender being sexual identity in relation to society and culture. so yeah a male could be a woman and a female could be a man.

so in reality your deffinition approach to anti gay marriage is wrong. it being religious well deffinition says its a social institution. so yeah you amy be against it but it is not constitutional wrong. first amendment: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. so yeah you cant go off of religion.

Author: a straight male tired of oppresion http://marriage.urbanup.com/2260999
83. (marriage) (131↑, 151↓)
A relationship between one man and one woman. The nucleus of the family. Ordained by God and not by governments, and therefore not definable or controllable by governments. Little children sometimes play amusing little games in which their puppy dogs and kitty cats get married. In a similar fashion, grown-up poofters and diesel dykes sometimes pretend that they can get married to each other. Strangely, all good [liberal] twits pretend the same thing. Every poofter has the God-given right to get married. He can marry any willing single woman he wants to. Every bull dyke has the God-given right to get married. She can marry any willing single man she wants to.

Malcolm and Rebecca were united in marriage. Bruce and Donald were not.

Author: Cap'n Bullmoose http://marriage.urbanup.com/1224004
84. (Marriage) (42↑, 63↓)
1. The legalised prostitution of women. 2. The legalised cuckolding of men. 3. Another issue the Theocratic Right uses to hold down anyone who expresses their sexuality in a manner they disapprove of (see [bisexuality], [homosexuality], [polyamory], etcetera). 4. Another issue the Theocratic Right uses to distract the American Public from what's really going on.

Preacher: "Do you, Mary, promise to love and obey John?" Mary: "I do." Preacher: "And do you, John, promise to love and not lust after Mary?" John: "I do."

85. (Marriage) (7↑, 29↓)
A cultural sanction that is out of date and not needed. Basically, a woman becomes a slave to her husband and must legally refuse her name thereby being robbed of her identity.

Alice Smith is now Mrs. Peter Asshole. She went through marriage yesterday.

Author: Thinking is not a crime http://marriage.urbanup.com/3999559
86. (Marriage) (10↑, 32↓)
the union of two people from opposite sex that are capable of reproducing on their own, not excluding those of opposite sexes that have problems with fertillity, they there for do not apply

"they can have a Marriage because one is a guy and one is a girl, not a man and a man, or a girl and a girl that i just wrong".

Author: somerandomkid19999999 http://marriage.urbanup.com/3122688
87. (marriage) (69↑, 108↓)
1) A God-ordained process [of ancient Hebrew origin] by which a man and a woman are joined to become one flesh. 2) The act in which a man sucks it up, gets off his selfish ass, and realizes some responsibility for a change.

My wife and I celebrated the 75th aniversary of our marriage.

88. (Marriage) (86↑, 128↓)
1. A legal union of 2 human beings REGARDLESS OF GENDER that provides security and stability for that relationship and promotes health and longevity for people in that union as reported through studies. Despite the ranting of religious fanatics who insist otherwise, marriage is not a religious institution. The concept of marriage existed way long before christianity itself. The marriage license is issued by a civil authority not a religious one. It is a civil court, not the church, that enforces the rights of those in the union during the marriage. As it is a group of lawyers through a civil court that dissolves the union and not the church. As such, it is a civil invention that does not require religious rituals to make it legal. People do not need a church to be married but they do need a license from the state for it to be legally recognized and valid\! Marriage is not specifically about rearing children either. If it was, heterosexual couples would be required by the state to have a fertility test before getting a license and those that didn't pass it would be denied. That's not the case anywhere. Further, not all married people want children. The definition of marriage is no longer restricted to one man and woman. It was redefined NOT by "activist" judges in Massachusetts but rather in Europe by the Netherlands which has extended marriage rights to same-sex couples. That definition has been accepted by other first world countries such as Belgium, Spain and Canada. The genie is out of the bottle and no rantings by thick-headed religious extremists will ever put it back\! We live in a global economy and by extention also live in a global society. We do not live in a vacuum\! Sticking your head in the sand or up your ass to deny that truth won't change it either or make it go away. Isolationism ended for the USA after WWI. Only fools live as if it hasn't. All these countries have had legalized gay marriage for years and all the predictions of chaos and the destruction of civilzation have not come to pass. In Massachusetts, where gay marriage has been legal since May 2004, the sky hasn't fallen and heterosexual marriage is as strong as ever. The lies and illogical exaggerations of extremists have proven themselves to be just that. Nothing but lies meant to promote hysteria, prejudice and hatred. Extremist groups try to come up with trumped up statistics from abroad to prove otherwise, but no legitimate source can prove a direct link between their claims and the effect of gay marriage on society. In fact, gay people who are legally married to each other in Massachusetts or those countries that recognize such marriages are transparent to heterosexual couples. You wouldn't even realize you're standing next to a couple that is legally recognized as married somewhere in the world. As such, how can that impact your marriage? Massachusetts has one of the lowest levels of divorce in the nation while many states that enacted constitional amendments against gay marriage have the highest divorce rates\! The allegations that chaos would ensue if gay marriage were allowed to spread to other states that don't recognize it is also another bunch of bullshit\! Currently 26 states recognize marriage between first cousins. Some of those states only do so if the couple doesn't have children. But that isn't causing chaos in the 24 states that don't recognize such marriages or making the children in such marriages illegitimate is it? Further, 16 states recognize common-law marriage between heterosexual couples while 34 states do not. Yet none of these non-traditional forms of marriage have devalued heterosexual marriage in anyway despite their recognition in only a handful of states. Neither have they caused chaos. They are in fact, transparent to most people who are in traditional heterosexual marriages as are those who are in gay marriages or civil unions. As for saying that a gay person can currently get married to someone as long as it's someone of the opposite sex... that is about as hollow, callous and useless an alternative to a gay person as saying to a christian that they can worship freely as long as they only worship allah or buddah instead of Jesus\! 2. A civil right unfairly denied to two people of the same gender in most places in the United States. Even if you call it a civil union, it would still lack protections at the Federal Level because of DOMA (So-called Defense of Marriage Act) which won't allow recognition of same-sex marriage or the benefits of marriage. A fair compromise would be to pass a federal bill recognizing civil unions for same-sex couples across the USA that grants all the rights, responsibilities and benefits of marriage allowing people that don't like using the word marriage for gay couples to keep it. But of course irrational right-wing extremists will have none of it thinking they can force the issue to go away by forcing through Constitutional Amendments that would deny gay people the right to any form of legal recognition of their relationships. Further, it is unprecedented in the history of civil rights that such social issues be voted upon at the ballot box as a way to bypass court decisions or legislative and executive actions that would legalize gay unions. It is a bullshit premise to call such a vote democracy. People did not have a direct vote to decide who would be granted freedom of religion. If they had, christianity may have been the only religion permitted in this country today. Jews, Muslims and Hindus would have no such rights. The racist white majorities of past centuries did not have a vote on slavery, racial integregation or extending civil rights to racial minorities through a direct ballot vote. Yet why wasn't that a democratic right given how profoudly these issue impacted society then? The right of Rosa Parks to ride the bus and sit where she wanted was not decided by a direct democratic vote of the people of Alabama but by what was then labeled an "activist" court of judges on the Supreme Court. An end to school segregation was also decided by the Supreme Court and not put to a direct vote by a white majority that was highly against it. Interracial marriage was also declared a constitutional right by the Supreme Court of the US despite the fact that states had laws prohibiting it and many people were against it and some still are. It wasn't put up to a democratic vote by the people despite how radical a concept that was back then to most people. It is therefore obnoxious, unprecedented, condescending and insulting to gay Americans that they should be treated as children or animals and have their civil rights provided or denied by the whims of an often prejudiced majority. Courts were setup to protect the rights of the minority from such prejudices and whims and establish an equal playing field for all. To abandon those principles now weakens our democracy and what makes America better than most countries in the world. Further, if you allow the masses to decide the issue of who can get legally married through a ballot initiative you open the Pandra's box to have the general public vote on all social issues from now on. That includes abortion, your right to privacy, your right to die, your right to bear arms and so forth. Voters and not a spouse would decide whether someone like Terri Schiavo's husband could let her die. A private family matter becomes the business of everyone. There is no end to it and prevailing social prejudices will impact your lives in all such matters.

Marriage is a civil right not an exclusive religious right. Loud-mouth right-wing extremists consistently make up lies about gay marriage that are proven false everyday such marriages are legal. Right-Wing extremists relentlessly try to destroy the marriages of gay couples through constitutional amendments. Try waking up one day after being legally married for several years to find out people have voted to dissolve your marriage and see how you feel about it\! Real people, real lives, real impact on them\! Christians care more about preventing the recongition of all gay relationships and the security and stability that recognition provides such couples than they care about defining marriage or the truth.

89. (marriage) (63↑, 122↓)
1. A legal union of 2 human beings REGARDLESS OF GENDER that provides security and stability for that relationship and promotes health and longevity for people in that union as reported through studies. Despite the ranting of religious fanatics who insist otherwise, marriage is not a religious institution. The concept of marriage existed way long before christianity itself. The marriage license is issued by a civil authority not a religious one. It is a civil court, not the church, that enforces the rights of those in the union during the marriage. As it is a group of lawyers through a civil court that dissolves the union and not the church. As such, it is a civil invention that does not require religious rituals to make it legal. People do not need a church to be married but they do need a license from the state for it to be legally recognized and valid\! Marriage is not specifically about rearing children either. If it was, heterosexual couples would be required by the state to have a fertility test before getting a license and those that didn't pass it would be denied. That's not the case anywhere. The definition of marriage is no longer restricted to one man or woman. It was redefined NOT by judges in Massachusetts but rather in Europe by the Netherlands which has extended marriage rights to same-sex couples. That definition has been accepted by other first world countries such as Belgium, Spain and Canada. The genie is out of the bottle and no rantings by thick-headed religious extremists will ever put it back\! We live in a global economy and by extention also live in a global society. We do not live in a vacuum\! Sticking your head in the sand or up your ass to deny that truth won't change it either or make it go away. Isolationism ended for the USA after WWI. Only fools live as if it hasn't. All these countries have had legalized gay marriage for years and all the predications of chaos and the destruction of civilzation have not come to pass. In Massachusetts, where gay marriage has been legal since May 2004, the sky hasn't fallen and heterosexual marriage is as strong as ever. The lies and illogical exaggerations of extremists have proven themselves to be just that. Nothing but lies meant to promote hysteria, prejudices and hatred. Extremist groups try to come up with trumped up statistics from abroad to prove otherwise, but no legitimate source can prove a direct link between their claims and the effect of gay marriage on society. In fact, gay people who are legally married to each other in Massachusetts or those countries that recognize such marriages are transparent to heterosexual couples. You wouldn't even realize you're standing next to a couple that is legally recognized as married somewhere although maybe not your state. As such, how can that impact your marriage? Massachusetts has one of the lowest levels of divorce in the nation while many states that enacted constitional amendments against gay marriage have the highest divorce rates\! The allegations that chaos would ensue if gay marriage were allowed to spread to other states that don't recognize it is also another bunch of bullshit\! Currently 26 states recognize marriage between first cousins. Some of those states only do so if the couple doesn't have children. But that isn't causing chaos in the 24 states that don't recognize such marriages or making the children in such marriages illegitimate is it? Further, 16 states recognize common-law marriage between heterosexual couples while 34 states do not. Yet none of these non-traditional forms of marriage have devalued heterosexual marriage in anyway despite their recognition in only a handful of states. Neither have they caused chaos. They are in fact, transparent to most people who are in traditional heterosexual marriages as are those who are in gay marriages or civil unions. As for saying that a gay person can currently get married to someone as long as it's someone of the opposite sex... that is about as hollow, callous and useless an alternative as saying to a christian that they can worship freely as long as they only worship allah or buddah instead of Jesus\! 2. A civil right unfairly denied to two people of the same gender in most places in the United States. Even if you call it a civil union, it would still lack protections at the Federal Level because of DOMA (So-called Defense of Marriage Act) which won't allow recognition of same-sex marriage or the benefits of marriage. A fair compromise would be to pass a federal bill recognizing civil unions for same-sex couples across the USA that grants all the rights, responsibilities and benefits of marriage allowing people that don't like using the word marriage for gay couples to keep it. But of course irrational right-wing extremists will have none of it thinking they can force the issue to go away by raming through Constitutional Amendments that would deny gay people the right to any form of legal recognition of their relationships. Further, it is unprecedented in the history of civil rights that such social issues be voted upon at the ballot box as a way to bypass court decisions or legislative and executive actions that would legalize gay unions. It is a bullshit premise to call such a vote democracy. People did not have a direct vote to decide who would be granted freedom of religion. If they had, christianity may have been the only religion permitted in this country today. Jews, Muslims and Hindus would have no such rights. The racist white majorities of past centuries did not have a vote on slavery, racial integregation or extending civil rights to racial minorities through a direct ballot vote. Yet why wasn't that a democratic right given how profoudly these issue impacted society then? The right of Rosa Parks to ride the bus and sit where she wanted was not decided by a direct democratic vote of the people of Alabama but by what was then labeled an activist court of judges on the Supreme Court. An end to school segregation was also decided by the Supreme Court and not put to a direct vote by a white majority that was highly against it. Interracial marriage was also declared a constitutional right by the Supreme Court of the US despite the fact that states had laws prohibiting it and many people were against it and some still are. It wasn't put up to a democratic vote by the people despite how radical a concept that was back then to most people. It is therefore obnoxious, unprecdented, condescending and insulting to gay Americans that they should be treated as children or animals and have their civil rights provided or denied by the whims of an often prejudiced majority. Courts were setup to protect the rights of the minority from such prejudices and whims and establish an equal playing field for all. To abandon those principals now weakens our democracy and what makes America better than most countries in the world. Further, if you allow the masses to decide the issue of who can get legally married through a ballot initiative you open the Pandra's box to have the general public vote on all social issues from now. That includes abortion, your right to privacy, your right to die, your right to bear arms and so forth. Voters and not a spouse would decide whether someone like Terri Schiavo's husband could let her die. A private family matter becomes the business of everyone. There is no end to it and prevailing social prejudices will impact your lives in all such matters.

Marriage is a civl right not an exclusive religious right. Loud-mouth christian extremists consistently make up lies about gay marriage that are proven false everyday such marriages are legal. Right-Wing extremists relentless try to destroy the marriages of gay couples through constitutional amendments. Try waking up one day after being legally married for several years to find out people have voted to dissolve your marriage and see how you feel about it\! Real people, real lives, real impact on them\!

90. (marriage) (42↑, 162↓)
the unfortunate act of when a man owns a woman and takes over all of her shit, including her house, cars, money and independence.

I can't believe I let that asshole I married own me.

Related: love, sex, divorce, gay, wedding, wife, relationship, husband, girlfriend, dating, boyfriend, married, relationships, marry, spouse, homosexual, engagement, family, death, women, bachelor, bitch, ring, fiance, gay marriage, lesbian, bride, cheating, couple, man, men, romance, sexy, engaged, friends, happiness, lover, matrimony, baby, girl
Last updated: 2012.03.01

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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